Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Field

Here its is folks, the much anticipated, requested and respected
'Team Big Deal' 2010 Ironman Canada preview:

Readers should note that all liberties have been taken by the editor.
If you are reading this and not laughing, you are on the wrong Blog.

Kieran "Doeboy" Doe

Pros:
Has led race from start to finish previously.
Spent the last 6 weeks in luxury resort on the City Limits.
Thinks Apex is a ‘short climb’
Has the best fashion sense amongst the pro field

Cons:
Doesn’t eat his vegetables.
Has had to fly two translators over from NZ.
Will have to run past cyclists coming down Main St.


Tom Evans: AKA Dr. Big Deal

Pros:
Has led the race from start to finish previously.
Has been at Altitude & Attitude camp for the last year.
Female support crew has tripled in size.

Cons:
Last time at the top of Yellow lake 2L of Coke was needed.
May not listen to spouses’ race week suggestions.
Has to work Monday morning.


Stephan Vukovic:

Pros:
Olympic Silver Medal (Triathlon, Sydney 2000)
Is a late entry (WTF?)
Thomas H has given him some tips

Cons:
Went bald at age 22
Has ‘Male Model’ type photographs on website
May be stopping for Coke at Yellow Lake


Viktor “The Barbarian” Zyemtsev

Pros:
Russian Special Forces trained
Races A LOT

Cons:
Was rolled by the Dr. in their last meeting.
Wanted in Florida for missing payments on Kitchen Appliances


Jamie “The STAG” Whyte:

Pros:
Rookie
Multiple 70.3 podium finishes
Had to fly Girlfriend over after he wore out his 1st training partner.
Makes a mean homemade pizza
Sponsored by Abercrombie & Fitch

Cons:
Rookie
Girlfriend has been dropping him on recent rides.
Needs Cola & bananas to function properly.
Wants to take a trip up the lake on the Sicamous post race.


Scott "The Colt" Curry

Pros:
Comprehensive Athlete website.
Gets to ride past a lot of people during the race
Gets to move to NZ after the Race.

Cons:
Will have to run the full 42.2 to get a spot.
Website has ‘Meet Triathlon Singles’ adverts displayed.
Hasn’t been paid for recent media appearances


Kyle “The Man” Marcotte:

Pros:
Every Year in is the top 10
Rides outdoors year round- In Calgary
Smart Guy- Engineer (not a Dr!)

Cons:
Races in a one-piece
Fiancée is out-riding him at present
May don “cowboy” hat in finish chute
Social media addict


Olly Piggin: AKA Kiwi Big Deal

Pros:
Only his 3rd triathlon of the Season
Rides the same Bike as the top two contenders
Has steered clear of ‘baked goods’ for the past month

Cons:
Has been overtaken race week by MTB’ers
May confuse his compression socks for arm warmers in T2
May have immigration following him during the event


“MAD” Matt Lieto

Pros:
Good Genetics
Knows his way around the course
Rides a custom bike
Not afraid to ‘get ugly’; drop a bottle or an f-bomb

Cons:
Rode twice at recent IM's: 1st Ride- Bike Leg, 2nd Ride- Ambulance.
Must run past Tim Hortons, Dairy Queen & KFC during event.
Staying at the lucky (then unlucky) “Love Shack”, vacant since 2008….

MIA:

Johnny “Pineapple” Carron


Will watch from the street this year.
Has internet access from his 138gram iphone.
Will let you know if you’re getting beat by the womens.
Will have trained 9 hours before you start the run leg.
Is retiring soon, made recent fortune through media commitments.

At 1000-1

Steve Kilshaw: Patented a new race strategy @ IMC 2009 which now bears his name, 'The Kilshaw'. Check South Main on Sunday afternoon to see if he repeats, it’s a sight to see.

Also Appearing in Lycra and moving at speed on Race-day:

Dallas “The Rossland Express” Cain
Scott “the Scot” Neyedli
Wolfgang “The Beast from the East” Guembel
Trevor “Heathers husband” Wurtele
Paul “I got myself to the Olympics” Tichlelaar
Petr “Will Draft” Vabrousek
Michael "Mac Daddy" Gordon
Anthony “top 10” Toth


The Blog reserves the right to edit the above post.
Enjoy your week!

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